Sunday, June 5, 2011

Graduation Day

It is another day of wondering what could have been. What should have been. I still have the overwhelming feeling that everything is "wrong". I suppose that with such a big part of life suddenly gone, that I will always feel as if I am missing a large part of the whole me.

Your Dad and I chose to look at this day differently because I cannot deal with crying over your loss with a crowd, because I, essentially spend some of everyday doing the would have been, should have been. Your Dad probably has a better outlook, honoring what he knows  would have been a very proud day for you. I cry for that. That we cannot share that together with you, Brandon and Devin.

I wish that I could bribe you with money so we didn't have to have a graduation party. Not having one because you are gone, breaks my heart and my spirit.
We laugh often over memories of you, it gives all of us an ache knowing there will be no more good and fun ones coming our way.

More than holidays, these first things that should have happened for you are what I feel the most. Getting your drivers license, going to prom and now graduating from high school.

Once again I am left with only a few short words.

I love you and miss you so much
Happy graduation day

If I could have a lifetime wish, a dream that would come true.
I'd pray to God with all of my heart for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back; I know because I have tried.
And neither can a million tears; I know, because I have cried.
You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too.
I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.


Katherine said...

I am completely and absolutely overwhelmed with tears and do not know what to write after reading this. If it means what I think it means.. I simply have no words.

Lisa said...

Hi Katherine, I lost my daughter Alyssa on Oct 30, 2007. It was a car accident on her 15th birthday. We struggle often and of course today is one of those days.
Somehow we keep on breathing and survive. I am still not sure how.

~Thought's By Dena~/ JDs Gift Shack said...

I am without words a mom of three boys who are without a doubt my world..I could not even come close to imagining what you are going thru on a daily basis. It is amazing how something that we could never imagine surviving that somehow in some way we find a way to do just that. In your case its good because you have other children who need you even more and its such a good thing that you and your husband have been able to keep life going in during the hardest of times. (HUGZ)

Lisa said...

Thank you Dena

mary said...

This moved me to tears as I was reminded also of my daughter's car accident which put her in the hospital for a week and a metal bar in her arm and her mouth stitched shut. She is well now, still occasionally sore. But I miss her everday because she has left the nest. I will never forget that dreadful phone call and her being flown by helicopter to the hospital.
I can understand how you felt then and how you must feel now. I am truly sorry for your loss.
mary (facebook...shocreations)

Lisa said...

Thank you Mary. I miss Alyssa everyday and yearn for her to come home in way I cannot explain.