I have one child left at home. He is 14 and struggles with ADHD and Asperger's syndrome. Sometimes we all struggle. I believe that maturity wise he is about 10 yrs old but, because he is a teenager, he believes he should be able to do what he wants, when he wants. (Don't all teenagers believe this?) My standard responds is "I am 42 yrs old and still can't do what I want, when I want."
This responds isn't working. He's off doing what he wants so.... I told him that if he wants to make his own decision regardless of the rules then he has to take care of himself.
"Mom can you make me a waffle?" (Because putting an Eggo waffle in the toaster is a lot of work) is now met with " No, you are old enough to do what you want, you want a waffle, make a waffle"
We are going through this several times a day, with the occasional manipulation tactics thrown in.
"It doesn't feel like you love me" and "You're the mom, you're suppose to do this for me."
Which is met with counter manipulation tactics. "Well, do you love me when you don't listen and do what I've asked you not too." and "You're the son, so you're suppose to listen to me"
Right now it's a draw..